Sneaky trick...

[caddmannq]

Our secretary/receptionist (OK...administrative assistant) just has too much time on her hands. Evidently she has no motivation to straighten up the archives, defrag her hard drive, or make me a fresh pot of coffee, as every time I pop through the front office, she's playing Freecell on her PC. As soon as she sees me comming, she swaps tasks quickly, but she doesn't realize that the glass behind her provides a perfect reflection of her desktop.

So, I could just un-install it from her PC, but that would be no fun at all. I want a hacked version of Freecell. I understand that there is one out there that is impossible to win, or somthing, and I think it would be just the thing to raise her awareness.

Has anyone heard of this, or seen it available?

[RustyGT]

GDay Cadd...
I'm told #11892 is unsolvable.
Must remember not to tell the missus that, [well not straight away]
www.freecell.org

ChrsR.

[caddmannq]

Thanx, Rusty.
Hmmm...now I just need a hack that will bring that one up every time, but call it a random number ;)

[Mntsnow]

hehe your mean :)

[Warthog]

haha cadd:p

[caddmannq]

Awww...I'm not really mean. I just want her to figgure out for herself that she didn't just "discover" multi-tasking, and she's not fooling anyone by pretending to work when we all know what she's actually doing.

[Mntsnow]

;) mean was to strong of a word but I gotcha :)

[NDC]

I got a better idea... if she isn't very literate with computers, you should remove all her icons from her desktop through the registry or using a tweak utility. After doing so, put a desktop image with all the icons with Freecell in the middle of the dektop image... ;)

[Mntsnow]

WooHoo I love that one :)

[Mntsnow]

Or maybe change all of her shortcuts to point to Freecell LOL

[NDC]

Good one there, Mntsnow! Then she would have to know you're on to her with her Freecell ventures during work hours! ROFL

[NDC]

Better yet, you don't even have to remove the icons from her desktop... Make all her shortcuts open Freecell and put an image of Freecell on her desktop image!

Now that's going in for the :m16: LOL

[bhess]

how about editing her freecell icon to open a program that she should be using? Or a funny website?

found some:

http://www.ishouldbeworking.com/
probably too much info for her to learn there.

howabout a subtle hint?
http://www.monster.com/

[NDC]

Oh, this is giving me more ideas! LOL

How about going hardcore and making a document file with a resignation letter explaining why she is resigning from her position when she clicks on the Freecell icon? :eek:

[jadison]

You guys have too much time on your hands :flames: :eek:

:jet: BTW, I just wanted to use this "jet" smiley, I think it's cool :p

[caddmannq]

HahAHahaHahaHAHAhA!

You guys are too much. (And I just knew you'd come through!)

I don't allow her internet access, and she's not on the lan either. I'll post some of her PC "antics" some time & you'll see why ;)

Hmmm...Can you set Freecell to be "always on top?" That might make her panic!

The prob is, if she panics & does something stupid I might have to re-format her whole HDD.

Oooooh! I could link the Freecell icon to an automatic shutdown. Now that could be interesting.

I better ghost her HDD first :rolleyes:

(The jet smiley is too cool ;) )

[NeoStarO1]

Originally posted by RustyGT
GDay Cadd...
I'm told #11892 is unsolvable.
Must remember not to tell the missus that, [well not straight away]
www.freecell.org

ChrsR.

I have been told a few of them are unsolvable, before i moved back to Oregon from wyoming i was in this obsevise thing to conquer freecell, needless to say I never did finish my task because i had moved thus didn't have the motivation anymore but im gonna give that one number a shot tho. LOL

Yes Im bored right now!

LOL :busted: :lol: :busted:


LMAO these ideas are too funny. let us know what you do and the results!!! :)

[surrealchereal]

Those are great ideas! :D

I like the idea that everyting opens FreeCell.. :D She'd panic! :D

[Mntsnow]

I better ghost her HDD first :rolleyes:

Yeah make it easier on yourself down the road :)

[NeoStarO1]

Just solved the one that is suppoably unsolvable and it is infact solvable, here is my screen shot of it. :) hehehehe.

Edit: It took me about 8 tries. ;)

[caddmannq]

I know there is one that I could never solve. I think it was #612 or 613. I played it two hundred times over the course of 2 months, and it kicked my butt every time. :(

[surrealchereal]

I played it two hundred times over the course of 2 months, ahem.... do we have a case of the pot calling the kettle black??

:p :p :p :p :p

[NeoStarO1]

I know there is one that I could never solve. I think it was #612 or 613. I played it two hundred times over the course of 2 months, and it kicked my butt every time.

#612 Solved first time
#613 Solved second try.

:) I can do them again if you want screen shots. :D

I have never had one yet to defeat me yet. :rolleyes:

[surrealchereal]

I have never had one yet to defeat me yet.
HA!! I never figured out how to play the game! :D :D



oh maybe I shouldn't tell anyone that! :p

[NeoStarO1]

LOL Surreal!!! hehehe, guess you can tell im board to be hanging out in the freecell trying to get one to defeat me.

Anymore??? B=0

[smokin]

LOL
well..thanks you all..now I have another
bad habit..I did beat the two above...
bring it on
;)

[jadison]

Freecell????
OMG! :rolleyes:
Sorry...CS, MO:HAA, RTCW, HL, DOD, MCM2, CMR2, RT, and a few others (including Role-Playing and Strategy) are my cup of tea. I beat way too many games of Freecell, Hearts, Solitaire, and Minesweeper (not to mention dozens of other "cheap" card games made courtesy of MicroStar) to start playing THEM again.

Then again, I occasionally go to Poker Night with our Management team on Friday Nights :D And 90% of the time, I end up taking home $20+ profit. They say I have an Ace up my sleave, I say no it's in my boot! ;)

[Mntsnow]

Well I must admit I have played a few games of "bejeweled" at work... :busted:

[brandon]

You could always get everyone in the office to start mysteriously asking for freecell lessons. :D

- Brandon

[caddmannq]

ahem.... do we have a case of the pot calling the kettle black?? I played on my own time, thank you. :p

I went back and looked, and it was game 617 that I never solved, BTW.

I haven't played much Freecell since WFW 3.11.

[NeoStarO1]

617 Huh, Will solve that tonight and post a screen shot. :)

[SalaTar]

here (http://www.salatar.com/hehe/hehe.htm)

just copy and point freecell to it:)

http://www.salatar.com/hehe.zip
files

[caddmannq]

HaHAHA Salatar!
That was evil! :D

[caddmannq]

617 Huh, Will solve that tonight and post a screen shot.Awww...you don't have to post anything. If you say you solved it we'll believe you!

OTOH, you could post a clue about how you solved it. I've heard that it can be done.

[SalaTar]

Originally posted by caddmannq
HaHAHA Salatar!
That was evil! :D

I do my best :busted:

[smokin]

Good one Sal...LOL
:)
and caddmannq
here is the solution to 617

83 53 6a 6b 6c 56 c5 a5 b6 2a
4b 45 21 41 72 4c 4d 47 ch 51
54 5c 56 b6 76 d5 14 15 12 7b
7d 76 17 14 d4 1h 27 21 25 71
7d 27 d7 2d d2 c2 bh 8b 87 8c
c8 78 58 37 35 3c a4 34 b4 c2
13 1a 1b

;)

[NeoStarO1]

Haven't solved it yet only have tried 18 times now, I know it can be solved cause years ago when i was on my freecell obsession for months i started at #1 and went in consecitive (sp?) order ya know, 1,2,3 ect... and I was in the 5 thosand range before i gave up my quest due to moving. I do remember quite a few of them taking a bit of time to solve. Let ya know when I got it solved, I can see the problem but haven't figured out a way around it yet. has to do with all those face cards in the way.

smokin' no clue to what your talking about.

Salatar, that is a good one, even I fell for it. ;) :) hehehehe

NeoStar

[Fingers]

Ack... now I remember why I hate javascript...

Alt+ F4 for anyone that can't close that window.

[smokin]

Neostar..the numbers refer to the rows..so 83 is moving the card or cards from row 8 to row 3. the abcd refers to the top row freecells, and h means home...so ch is the third card in the free cell to home..LOL
clear as mud?
;)

[SalaTar]

sorry turned the focus back on you close the hidden window and freecell window will close now

[jadison]

Nice one SalaTar! :cooldude: :devil: :flames: :devil: :cooldude:

[bhess]

Funny Salatar

[Socal]

haha, good one, Sal ;)

[caddmannq]

Hmmm...I liked it better when you had to run the close program dialog box to end it. She woulda been re-bootin' fer sure ;)

OTOH, I don't let her have internet service. All I need is to have her infecting the machine every week opening spam on her PC.

It's bad enough that she brings in floppy disks from who-knows-where. I've had to clean off the Word macro virus twice from her PC.

OK, maybe I feel a little sorry for her, since her husband won't allow her to have a PC at home. (But, I don't wonder why... ;) )

[caddmannq]

Grrr....As I walked in the front door this morning *click* the green screen suddenly turns white. Who does she think she's fooling???

This gal is in for a scare! :jaw: HeeHeeHee :)

[Mntsnow]

:busted:
:copcar:
:devil:

[NeoStarO1]

:lol:

Hahahha, Wonder if she will fess up and ask for tech support. LOL

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Would love to get a shot of her face when she trying to figure out what is up. LOL

[caddmannq]

Well, I DID IT tonight.

I set her PC up to re-boot every time she hits FreeCell.

Let's see how many times she boots up tomorrow.

HeeHeeHee ;)

MUUUWAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

[jadison]

LOL :busted:

[NeoStarO1]

LOL, let us know what happens tommorrow!! LOL

[Mntsnow]

hehe :) I will be watching :)

[Herb]

I like that in general:D:D

I'm doing a similar thing since a few days, here's the story:

The spouse must share an internet PC with co-workers, which always surf around and do anything but work with the box. She is hindered to get her important business stuff at any reasonable time. No one in that company is computer literate:D

I told her to check the recent history for often visited links and write down the URL's. I set up a batch file on a diskette with a growing host file, killing every day another URL to localhost:D

Lots of fun there now, she's thrilled every time finishing work to get the next address blocked.

I think it will last a few weeks until someone might find out how that worked, then I'll setup a PAC-file to allow only work related sites and a redirection to a warning GIF, with the note that an E-mail has been send to management about the misuse:D:D

[Mntsnow]

hehe good idea Herb :)

[caddmannq]

I heard her PC re-boot about four times this morning. The she buzzes me and said her computer is crashing all the time and she can't get anything done.

(HeeHEEhee...mmumpmf...! I'm trying desperately not to crack up at this point.)

I asked what she was working on when it crashed. She said "Oh, just EVERYTHING!"

Me: "No...which program were you running?"

She: "All of them!"

Me: "Well your PC only has 128MB of RAM. Try not to run them all at once."

She: "Hrumph!"

Me: "I'm real busy now, but I'll try to look at it later."

I heard her speaker beep twice more, ten minutes later she got up and went home, claiming to be sick. What's up with that? ;)

FreeCell withdrawals??? :eek: :confused: :eek:

[Mntsnow]

ROFLMAO AHHH I needed that laugh! :lol:

[surrealchereal]

BUSTED!!!

:busted: :busted: :busted: :busted: :busted: :busted: :busted:

[caddmannq]

:o "I'm a baaaaaad boy! :o

[wizofid]

This is funny! - ROFL

I run a small net for the inlaws [last four years]- the mother use to be a Bank Manager - and she thinks she knows all there is - - I spent a weekend setting up a net and six months later the sweetie walked in to find that she[mother] had rearanged the system - she yanked the netcard so hard that it was pulled out of the isa slot.

It would not print - I found that she had installed a web based printer on the lpt on the now non networked machine.

The final straw was the day she sat there hitting the power button every 5 seconds about 10 times. It was a atx power and as soon as she let it to come up went straight into safe mode and stayed there until I drove 30 miles to look at it.

At that time - I looked at them - both inlaws - and quietly said - either you stop messin wiht my work - and tell me when something is wrong - or you can pay the little moustache guy that you sicked on me last week - who wanted to do your computer work - his rate is $40/hr - and mine will be $150/hour - cause I know I'l be back.

Don't tell anyone but - 6 months ago I did - reconnect all the game icons to wrong buttons - and left it - know one has ever commented -

cause I just let sweetie ask them"What did YOU do Now?

I told them a week ago to get stuff printed off as I wanted to back it up - and make sure I had a copy of the old information.

still - rofl - wiz

[jadison]

That was priceless Cadd :D
You all are getting more malicious by the minute...next thing you know you'll be hacking into her computer printing weird text messages pointing to the stuff around her in the office...then she'll really freak. :eek:

[wizofid]

Flash grey image of "work of the devil" popin up when ever freecell get hit - just flash it for two seconds so the subconscious hits it but the eyes get a hint of it. -

[caddmannq]

Hey, I said I was bad, not evil! :D

PS: Wiz...

My mom screws up her PC so often, that my dad won't even look at it any more (he's a Linux guy anyway & eschews anything MS) so now she calls me every time it burps. Then I often drive 20 miles to fix the thing.

I'm threatening to wipe it and install Mandrake on it. The idea scares her something crazy.

Maybe while she's out of town, I'll just go tweak her flash screen and desktop/icons so it looks like Mandrake/KDE, and see if she notices....

:o OK...so maybe I am evil... :o

[wizofid]

we are - you know - I am an "evil wizard" but I will try not to frag thier harddrive just to get a cheap laugh.[ maybe]

[NeoStarO1]

Originally posted by caddmannq
[B]I heard her speaker beep twice more, ten minutes later she got up and went home, claiming to be sick. What's up with that? ;)

Geezz going home so early huh? Wonder how many days she will pull that stunt? REally surpised she didn't see the pattern of the computer rebooting all those times just after freecell opened up.

Good one Cad! Im busting up here! Can't wait to hear what the lady dicides to do the next day.

[caddmannq]

HoooHoooHoooo.....

The devil definately made me do this.... :bunny:

I just changed the FreeCell link again. The computer won't re-boot automatically now, it just beeps once and flashes an error message that's too fast to read. Then FreeCell acually comes up.

Ummm....well a "picture" of FreeCell comes up. Full screen! ;) ;) ;)

HeeHeeHee...you can click on it till your mouse wears out, but nothing happens, and you can't close it either! (Well, I can, but she'll never figure it out.) She's going to have to do her own re-booting tomorrow! :eek:

MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I got the idea from the pranks4all website: an evil place that you'll wish you'd never visited. Remember...I warned you!

[NeoStarO1]

LMAO!!! You're rolling now CADD!!! Ya i checked out that pranks for all place and got some ideas of my own. :D hehehe

I can't wait to hear the what happens tommorrow when she relizes she is "stuck" in freecell and ends up rebooting all the time, wonder if she will call you now! :D hehehehehe

The suspense is on!!!!

[Herb]

Splendid :D:D:D

<me going to look for this pranks site>;):D

[caddmannq]

Well, about 10:00 AM, I heard the telltale "BEEP"!

Next, furious clicking and typing.

Then "BEEP!" again...a hard re-boot... :busted:

Then my intercom:

Her: "Hey, did you fix my computer?"

Me: "Yeah, last night. What's wrong? Is it still crashing?"

Her: "No. But every time I start it, it does ScanDisk!"

Me: (heeheehee...mumpnf...) "It only does that if you don't click Start and ShutDown. You can't just shut off Windows with the power switch. You'll hose the system!"

Her: "Well the Start button won't come up!"

Me: "How come you're shutting it off in the middle of the day?"

Her: "I feel sick again. I think I'm gonna go home..."

Me: "Maybe you should just take lunch early...go lie down a bit. I'll have another look at it. You need to get those reports filed today, you know."

Her: "OK...I'll be back in an hour..."

HeeHEEheeHEEheeBUWAHAHAHAHA! :D

OK...I got an hour...what do I do next??? ;)

[caddmannq]

It's done! :D

Everything is set back to normal.

Except one little teeny thing. ;)

The FreeCell shortcut points to a "message" (heeheehee) that says "Your system is dangerously low on resources. Please close some applications and try again."

We'll see how she feels this afternoon....

:jaw:

[knothead]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHH!!!!

This has GOTTA be one of the funniest threads I've ever seen...I like the fact you're not doing anything vicious or anything. Just inventive mischief... and to such a good end, too! :lol:

[caddmannq]

Well, she took a two hour lunch today.
"Still not feeling so good. *Sniff*"

Hmmm...it's quiet.
Too quiet!

Maybe she's actually working on my reports???

I might have to do something more...hmmm...obvious ;)

[knothead]

I still like the idea of setting up all the icons so that no matter what she clicks, it always goes to FreeCell!
YEEEEEEEEEEEE!! :lol:

[Socal]

I gotta admit this is freaking hilarious :D

[Mntsnow]

ROFL :lol: Your doing great Cad!

[caddmannq]

Whoa! She actually walked all the way back to my desk this time.
With a question, this time.
Wanna take three guesses???



It was...

She: "What are resources?"

Me: "You mean trees and water and oil and coal and stuff...?"

She: "No. For the computer. I think I need you to buy me some more resources."

Me: "Oooohhh...Computer resources! You can't buy 'em"

She: "Is my computer getting too old?"

Me: "No. Windows makes it's own resources when you start the computer. Some times when you run a bunch of wierd programs or get a virus, it uses up all the resources."

She: "Oh. What should I do then?"

Me: "You have to re-boot it to get more."

She: "OK..." (she leaves.)

A minute later..."BEEP!"

:o :o :o :o :o

[mickwish]

Cadd, you are a real cad - LOL :D J/K!

This is the funniest thing I heard about for a long time. Poor woman. Now she's gonna have a computer complex! :rolleyes:

For those who can't solve Freecell, use Freecell Pro (http://home.earthlink.net/~fomalhaut/fcpro.html). I can solve 'em for ya! :)

Not that I'd know anything about playing cards at work :o

:D

PS Thanks for the link at TechIMO - cool thread! :cool:

[caddmannq]

Well, her PC "BEEP!"ed four times in 40 minutes. She just didn't want to give up. Ummm...until 4:30 that is.

She came back here "still feeling sick" and then went home early.

Hmmm...should I change the "message" to say:

CAUTION!
Frequent re-booting creates excess system resources which could overwhelm the available RAM and cause an electrical fire.

Do you actually think she'd fall for that one???

:rolleyes:

[madfish]

roflol, stop Cadd, it hurts to laugh so hard at this........... :D :D :D :D

[caddmannq]

Or...
I could tell her that she may be feeling sick all the time due to "an e-mail virus that's been going around..." :eek:

[Socal]

How about

"Warning! <insert pic of bomb>.

Microsoft Fatal Error 0x000176BX0! Check "Games" resources. The game "Freecell" has no resources. It may have become corrupt.

Solution: Uninstall Freecell."


Sounds like you're gonna end up paying for medical leave soon ;)

[Sanman]

This is so funny:D

Is there a way to recode that Avoid program to work the same way with the freecell? That would be priceless:D
(for those that don't know, it makes the start button avoid the mouse pointer)

[NeoStarO1]

LMAO!!!!! This has to be my favorite thread of all time now!!! Better yet, have her freecell icon open up the report she is suppose to be working on! :D So everytime she tries to play freecell she ends up getting sent to work! LOL

This is good Cad!!! Can't wait to hear the continuing saga tommorrow!!!! This is bettter than any soap opera! and I don't even what them! Blech!!!

NeoStar

[Herb]

I think Socal's idea is clever, I wonder if she would ask for a reinstallation of freecell :D:D

[caddmannq]

HeeHee...you guys/gals! No wonder I get all these evil ideas :rolleyes:

What I did was this:

I fixed FreeCell so it works perfectly. I fixed MS Office so nothing works.

She never did finish my reports yesterday, and should be working on them right now. But since Office is disabled, and she can't work on them, I'll assume that she's playing FreeCell instead.

Coffee break is in ten minutes, and if she hasn't complained about Office by then, I'm gonna tell her I need the reports on my desk in 30 minutes & see what she does. :eek:

In any event, today is Friday, which is "guys lunch day out" at the office, so I probably won't be able to institute anything else evil for this afternoon. :(

[Mntsnow]

LOL I hate to say but it looks like your not going to get your reports!

[caddmannq]

Whoa! She finished them! And just two days late too!

She never told me about MS Office not working, because her printer ran out of ink yesterday. One of the guys was out today, so she finished them on his computer, rather than change the cartridge!

I asked why she didn't change her cartridge, and she said she had forgotten to order new ones & we were out. Grrrrr....

Curses! Foiled again!

[RK]

I think you shoud just load up a pic of you looking stern with a caption that says "I Need Those Reports Now Free Cell On Your Own Time" And link it to come up full screen if she clicks on the game. :)

RK

[caddmannq]

Well, I sent her out to buy some more printer cartridges, and told her I'd fix her MS Office while she was out. (She finally "admitted" that it didn't work when I gave her a used printer cartridge & told her to print a test document.)

Soooo....;) ;) ;)

While she was gone, I enabled MS Office & fixed the FreeCell shortcut to point to an MS Access file titled "2002_Client_List" full of garbage code, through which you can see the word FreeCell about a hundred times in clear text.

Then I put a note on her desk to run the client database & give me a printout.

:busted: :eek: :busted:

[caddmannq]

(My additional ovservations, re-posted from TechIMO: )

Poor woman. Her husband has money. Part of the "Otis Elevator" family. He doesn't work, just stays home & makes metal sculptures. He makes her work anyway.

Plus he won't let her have a PC at home. He thinks they're evil. He came to our company Christmas party once, and all we really did was talk about computers. He probably thought WE were evil.

God! I'm soooo heartless!

[MDS]

caddmannq this whole things got me LOL. I took a deskshot of one of my bosses screen and made it a wallpaper and then I unchecked show desktop icon's under win2kpro active desktop :) you should of seen him tring to click the icons :) he rebooted like 3 times before he gave up and went out on the floor so then I changed it all back, you should have seen his face when it worked after he tried so many times.

[NeoStarO1]

LOL MDS!!! Good one!

[caddmannq]

Well, I think I really have her confused now.
She printed out the correct client list and gave it to me. I said I'd mark it up & give it back so she could update the list.

Just before I gave it back, she buzzed me and said: "Something's wrong with my database now." ( :D She'd launched "FreeCell" while the original DB was still up :D )

Me: "What's wrong?"

She: "It's all screwed up."

Me: "Can you restore it from the backup?"

She: "How do you do that?"

Me: "OK, I'll come look."

Before I can walk the twelve feet to her desk "BEEP!" she'd re-booted. Hard. Evidently she'd finally saw the word FreeCell in all that messy code, and didn't want me to see it. When it came back up, we watched it scandisk, and boot.

Me: "Why did you re-boot?"

She: "It just crashed." :rolleyes:

Me: "OK, just launch the file." It comes up just fine.
"Looks OK to me. What did you do right before it crashed?"

She: "NOTHING!"

Me: "OK, go take a smoke & let me check it out."

While she's outside smoking, I delete the offending file ;) and fix the FreeCell link to point to FreeCell once again. I also see that she's installed three "unauthorized" programs on her PC. I set them all to also launch FreeCell.

She came back in, finished my DB corrections & went home without further incident.



:busted: :lol: But I can't wait 'til Monday morning! :lol: :busted:

[MDS]

caddmannq your goin to drive this poor girl crazy :)

[caddmannq]

Hey, MDS. I pulled that same one on my boss's PC too.
Unfortunately, he caught on after the first re-boot.

"What did you do this time?" :busted: <--me

I showed him how to do it.

I've played so many PC pranks on him in the last 8 years, that I can't fool him any longer.

[NeoStarO1]

Cadd!! You crack me up!! Wonder when the lady is just gonna fess up and admit she plays freecell too much! Altho I am really suprised she hasn't seen the pattern that anytime she launches freecell things "screw up" How many reboots has this made since it started? Lost count! :D

Can't wait to see what happens monday! :)

[caddmannq]

...To Be Continued...
:D

[Mntsnow]

:lol: Just to good :)

[brandon]

While she's outside smoking, I delete the offending file and fix the FreeCell link to point to FreeCell once again. I also see that she's installed three "unauthorized" programs on her PC. I set them all to also launch FreeCell.

She came back in, finished my DB corrections & went home without further incident.


That's it - you're officially MY HERO.. :D


- Brandon

[Warthog]

LOL cadd:D:D:D

I haven't been keeping up with this but I just read the whoel thing......nice:D

[NDC]

Boy, Cadd! You're really getting your kicks off of this, aren't you? LOL :D

[brandon]

Oh man, this would piss me off so much. I'd probably be doing things far more evil.

If you like, I can get you a .exe that will popup a screenshot of Freecell (full screen) that makes a certain sound whenever it is opened (which would alert you) and is only closable by doing Alt+F4... :D Then you can walk in, walk up behind her and ask to see a specific document.. :D ("Could you show me ... oh... Is that Freecell?") .. hehe.

I'm suprised she hasn't caught on yet. I would have. :)

- Brandon

[Mntsnow]

Ahh I love the way Cadd has performed thru all of this....The "torture" is like the chinese water torture...One drip at a time :)

[Socal]

She finished them! And just two days late too!

...so she finished them on his computer, rather than change the cartridge!

Socal scratches head and wonders how this chic stays employed.. :confused: unless it's for the entertainment value? :busted:

[MDS]

Originally posted by Socal




unless it's for the entertainment value? :busted:

LOL :)

[caddmannq]

She's uuummm...too "mature" to actually be called a chick. But I think that since she's the only full-time female employee we have, that my boss is a bit scared to fire her. Femminist backlash or sumpthin'...:rolleyes: I think he's also a bit uncomfortable about what his wife would think if we fired her and got someone younger.

As for the windows "noises", I never put a sound system on her PC. We don't need to listen to Englebert Humperdink and Tom Jones comming from the front office all day. :eek:

[skywalker]

LOL !!!

my mother is like that too,i checked her computer and she's played 28000 games of freecell.

Oh boy this is gonna be fun :D :D :D :D

[caddmannq]

Evidently our secretary knows how to clear the "stats."

[skywalker]

lol :p

[vass0922]

LOL very nice!
<eagerly awaiting the next episode of Torture the AA>

How in the hell has she NOT figured it out that somebody is messing with her??!!?

That is just amazing! :jaw:

[Gibbo]

:lol: :lol: :D
Haven't laughed so much in ages :)

Hey cadd' Howabout a log file that logs the time/date of everytime she plays freecell, the get it to print from her printer everytime she reboots

:D :D :D

[caddmannq]

Denfinately an end-game strategy there, Gibbo! I want her to keep thinking that it's her (or her PC) that's "messing up."

That would be the coup de gras ;)

[caddmannq]

Hmmm....something's going on.

She buzzed me once this morning, and then said "Oh, sorry...nevermind." Then clicked off the intercom.

"Then I hear "BEEP!" as she re-boots.

Maybe she's trying to re-install her "unauthorized" software. :confused:

[wizofid]

boy - unauthorized - thats a no no -

I looked at the culprit last time and said " since your now a expert - fix it yourself - and unplugged thier net access - when they asked why - I said - I'm network admin - and your not"

wiz

[skuz]

How fun this is... :)

That would be the coup de gras

:D

Well actually, that would be "coup de grâce", what you wrote means "that would be the fat hit" :)

[caddmannq]

<---barely writes in English, let alone French!

[madfish]

:D :D :D :D

[caddmannq]

Well today was really quiet. No complaints. Work got done. Didn't hear a lot of "beeping" either.

Then as she's heading out the door, I get:

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
She: "My computer's still screwing up!"

Me: "How so?"

She: "I can't install any new programs."

Me: "I'll install all the new programs, OK? Who said you could install new programs?"

She: "Well, nobody said I couldn't!"

Me: "OK...I'll check it out. And don't put another disk in that machine unless I scan it first, OK? Last time you got a virus."
(...and spread it to two other machines using floppys.)

She: "Oh, I always scan the disks."

Me: "With McCaffee? That things a year out of date."

She: "What's McCaffe? I'm scanning them with ScanDisk."

Me: "Errrrrrr...I'll fix it OK? Just don't bring any more disks in from home."

She: "Oh, they're not from home. My nephew brought them home from his school."

Me: ( :(....speachless....:( )
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I checked, and she's installed this stupid greeting card program right in the root directory. And in the Windows directory. She's also got the word Macro Virus again, and I just scanned this thing Friday! Evidently, she took the offending floppys home in her purse, because I can't find them.

I cleaned the junk out, and pulled the cable off her floppy drive. I don't think she owns any CD's. (Ummm...Tom Jones, maybe...)

[surrealchereal]

So, you should thank that lady......

Look at all the bad karma you're working off mopping up after all her computer skills! :D :D

[NeoStarO1]

This gets intersting as we go along, altho I am complete dumbfounded as why the lady won't tell the truth when you ask a question. maybe she feels embarresed or something but that is still no excuse. Frankly I don't blame you for unplugging the floppy drive.

I am just totally baffled at the lady's behavior, If she is older woman you'd think she be a bit wiser. Her behavior would get her fired anywhere else, she is lucky to have a company to work for as yours.

Hmmmmmm.. Scratches head...............

[caddmannq]

she is lucky to have a company to work for as yours. :oThanks. :o
We're a swell buncha guys. :bunny:

[Socal]

I'm scanning them with ScanDisk

:eek: lol Not being sarcastic, but this lady should really get a basic lesson in safe computing. Has she never been told about floppies, virii and potential risks? I understand she's not allowed on the Internet, but perhaps some basic computing safety concerning virus infection could be printed out for her to read, or explained to her.


Well, as NeoStart said, you *must* be a great bunch of guys to work for. btw, any associates in the Los Angeles area looking for help, LMK ;)

[caddmannq]

Has she never been told about floppies, virii and potential risks? Yeah, don't think I haven't tried. The problem is that she doesn't take direction well with the computer biz. She gets flustered whenever she finds out she's goofed up. She hates to admit a mistake (probably because she's worked places where you get fired readily for them) and she can't take constructive criticism well.

For instance, when I discovered her numerous 64+ character file names, I explained that this was a big mistake, since we couldn't back them up properly. Her solution was that we should just back up her PC on floppy disk. (No WAY!) But the real problem was that this was her filing system. She didn't have seperate folders for different classes of documents, she just stuck in huge descriptions as the file names so she could find stuff she'd created. When I explained the "filing cabinet" metaphor of the Windows system, she just didn't want to get it. Her reluctance to change her "system" of "filing" was so great that it took me several tries to get through to her, and I was met with resistance all the way. (I can't imagine what she did in the old DOS days!?! )

She exchanges files on floppy with the other guys here in the course of her work. I'm sure I told her many times not to open documents right from her floppy, but to copy them to the HDD first. I still catch her doing it, because it takes one extra minute & she can't tolerate it just for the sake of one small change on a document, even though she's lost work this way in the past.

Now I have all the other guys trained to scan any disk they get from her, and to make a backup of anything they give her on disk.

[edwelly]

ok, nobody black ball me here, but cadd, is she really worth all of this trouble? I mean, she sounds like an employee that takes more than she gives and that's not good business practice. maybe somebody should set her down an explain to her that is she doesn't straighten up and do things the way the company wants them done (not her way) she will be terminated... I know that was harsh, but at least I was honest...
just my $0.02...

[caddmannq]

Ahhhhhh...she's just such a pitiful old soul that we don't have the heart to dump her :rolleyes:

Plus it would cut down on the entertainment factor. :)

[knothead]

Originally posted by caddmannq
Ahhhhhh...she's just such a pitiful old soul that we don't have the heart to dump her :rolleyes:

Plus it would cut down on the entertainment factor. :)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yeah, Ed! Whattya tryin' to do...SOLVE this....and end the story?? :lol: :lol: :lol:

[jadison]

ROFLMAO! :D
This thread has turned into a monster...:eek:

[NeoStarO1]

I can see edwelly's point however I have seen similar situations as cadd is going through, my folks with there business had couple people over the years that were similar like that, great people persons but constantly messed up on the computer or other paperwork but didn't have the heart to let them go. One has since died but her husband still works there. He is extremely loyal and talented, his late wife is another story. Another person left for another company eventually after 5 years.

What about sending her to a company expense paid class of interent class or basic computing class? Would the company be willing to do that and jsut say its part of her job to take this class for a up to date training thingy.?

Just a thought, but I can see where cadd is coming from.

[Socal]

Hmmm.. no update? Are you running out of ideas, Cadd? ;)

[Gibbo]

Either that or Cadd's letting her stew :)
or he's working on somthing Cruel and Mean...Let's hope so :D:D

[HomeYield]

I was wondering the same thing. What if she started playing tricks on him and he's too embarassed to reply now? ;)

[NeoStarO1]

Originally posted by HomeYield
I was wondering the same thing. What if she started playing tricks on him and he's too embarassed to reply now? ;)

I hardly think so, the lady can't even change a printer cartiridge I don't think she would be able to figure out a clever trick that cadd won't see through.

[caddmannq]

Hmmm.. no update? Are you running out of ideas, Cadd? I'm afraid that actual work has interfered with my more amusing activities. For the moment :bunny:

[RustyGT]

This is still going? Just precious!

Quote Neo:
" great people persons but constantly messed up on the computer or other paperwork"

My ex boss wrote all the code for the service programs we used in house.
Spent 8 mths on one, pronounced it ready, gave to our front office lass, who promptly killed it in 15 mins.
He used to brag "if he could make an app 'Megan proof' then it was ready for market"
Now she wasn't stupid, but she was a great example of an end user. Handy to have beta testers on staff.

LOL Cadd. ChrsR :D

[caddmannq]

OK, I hope this one doesn't come back to haunt me....

Yesterday I had to hook the floppy drive back up, as that's the closest I'll let her get to the network. In other words, I had to get some specs edited, and she's the one to do that. (A lot of typing basically, which she's good at.)

I had this little program I made a long time ago, that runs in a dos window (no graphics) which "scans" for viruses. (Yeah, right!)

I told her to run it against any floppy disk that comes from outside our office, and I stuck in an "infected" disk, and showed her how to work it. But there's this one little thing....

Every disk you run against it will show up as infected!
:busted: :eek: :busted:

[Herb]

PMP great:D:D

[MDS]

Originally posted by caddmannq
I had this little program I made a long time ago, that runs in a dos window (no graphics) which "scans" for viruses. (Yeah, right!)

I told her to run it against any floppy disk that comes from outside our office, and I stuck in an "infected" disk, and showed her how to work it. But there's this one little thing....

Every disk you run against it will show up as infected!
:busted: :eek: :busted:

LOL cad I wonder how long it will take for her to notice :)

[jadison]

Pray she never sees this website, forum, and thread...:eek:

[caddmannq]

HeeHee...I didn't hook her into the DSL router, she's got no modem, and her hubby won't have a computer at home. :eek:

I think I'm safe, unless she sneaks up and looks over my shoulder... Then I'm gonna be :busted:

[edwelly]

it appears that my suggestions was a little too harsh... HOWEVER, what about Neostar's idea about a class.
then again, I really DO like reading this thread :D

[MDS]

"The Penguinator" how bout an update :)

[MDS]

Hey have you tried slowing her mouse down as slow as it goes so when she's playing you can walk up behind her really quickly and she won't have time to shut it off?

[caddmannq]

Well, she noticed yesterday afternoon, when she got some new disks from a client. She came to my desk about 4:30.

She: "You better call so-and-so and tell them they're sending out viruses."

Me: "OK. Just give me the disks, and I'll disinfect them."

She: "Oh..I don't know! This is confidential financial stuff!"

Me: "Um...Who do you think sets up and maintains all our accounting and payroll software? I can see that stuff anytime I want to fire up the bookkeeper's computer."

She: "You can see all the personnel records and everybody's paychecks too?"

Me: "Yep."

She: "Who else can see them?"

Me: "The bookkeeper."

She: "Can the boss see them too?"

Me: "Yeah, but he has to ask me or the bookkeeper."

She: "That's not right!"

Me: "Yeah, yeah....just gimme the disks, OK?"

She: "OK...but I better tell Bob..."

Me: "Fine. I set up Bob's computer too you know..."

She: "*Hrumph*!"

:busted:

[NeoStarO1]

LOL Cadd, tooo funny!!!! At least she is saying they are infected now so mabye this will teach her a little bout being a bit safer. :)

[Mntsnow]

:lol:

[caddmannq]

Of course the disks were clean. I ran them through InoculateIt right in front of her & she didn't even notice where it said "no viruses found." ;)

But then it seems she doesn't notice a lot of stuff :rolleyes:

[surrealchereal]

Almost kinda sad to know she will never know she was had by the cadd :lol: :lol: :lol:

[NeoStarO1]

Ya it is sad that she doesn't notice things like that. I still would opt to send her at an company all expense paid class on the basics of computing or even internet safty as it will cover grounds about viruses and scanning.

Make it madatory so she doesn't have a choice, it would IMO be a good thing for the company to do for her if the company plans to keep her on board out of loyalities.

[SalaTar]

Boy if youre in a workgroup it would be funny to send a Administrative popup to all users when the Frecell Icon was clicked.........................

[MDS]

TP one of these days your going to be gone and she's going to ask someone else for help and you will be all figured out :)

[Gibbo]

WOW the suspense is killing me :)

Cadd must be working ?

I NEED CLOSURE :worry: :cry:

Sorry just looking for updates :stress:

I'll go now :D

[NeoStarO1]

Yes this thread is addicting. :D I keep looking for updates too. ;) :D

[surrealchereal]

Hey Cadd!! Don't just leave us hangin' here!

[caddmannq]

Cadd must be working ? Working? I've been on a 3-day Holiday, doing what any sensible man would do over Memorial Day weekend: Restoring my boat ;)

Anyhow...I'll hit the desk in about 90 minutes, & we'll see what's up.TP one of these days your going to be gone and she's going to ask someone else for help and you will be all figured out Ha! There IS no one else. These folks couldn't defrag a hard drive with both hands and a flashlight. :rolleyes: You wouldn't believe the stuff that happens when I go on vacation. :bunny:

[Herb]

You're a so called "Critical resource" :D ;) :cool:

[caddmannq]

Well, this morning I gave her a (real) new up-to-date anti-virus program & showed her how to use it. Within 15 mins. she buzzed me.

She: "Hey! My computer just locked up! All the icons are grey and I can't click on anything."

Me: "(Uggghh...) What were you doing when it locked?"

She: "Scanning the disk."

Me: "A floppy disk?"

She: "Uh huh."

When I went to look at her PC, the scanner was running, full-screen. There was a disk in the floppy drive, but the light was out. OTOH, the HDD light was flicking like mad.

Me: "It's not locked. You clicked the wrong icon."

She: "Oh..."

Me: "You're scanning every file on your whole computer. It'll probably take another ten minutes."

She: "Oh...Well, I'm gonna go out for a smoke."

Me: "I already scanned the whole thing this morning, you know."

She: "Yeah, well I put another disk on it."

Me: "You mean you coppied a floppy disk onto the hard drive?"

She: "Yes. And I thought I should scan it."

Me: "You should scan the floppy before you copy it on."

She: "Oh, yeah. Well I forgot."

Me: "(Grrrr...) Go take a smoke."

[madfish]

:D :D :D :D

[Mntsnow]

Hey Cadd, Just remember we all have out crosses to bare!

[wizofid]

TP - Mntsnow right - I had one customer call me back - could not get his laptop online - I checked it after I had configed it - he had gone back in and clicked "never Dail out"
and the browser was set to "offline"

his brother had a word virus that knocked out the package - what a bunch - I still chuckle over that!!

[Axel]

here is what I think you should do - go ahead and connect her pc to the network - load AT&T VNC in steath mode and capture a few AVI files of her playing on her PC -

Select the best one -

and then go back into her PC and have the AVI of her playing come up by re-pointing the freecell icon on her desktop - then perhaps switch to an AVI of the unemployment line or something similar.......

[caddmannq]

Alex: That sounds like soooo much fun, but I just can't bear to put her on the net. Too much sensative data. I don't care if she sees it. But if she deletes anything....AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anyhow, here's what I did:

While she was out to lunch, I set her PC up to print a document whenever she clicks on FreeCell.

It prints out her resume, BTW. :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Mntsnow]

ROFLMAO

Cadd....you need to come work in the same building as me!

[caddmannq]

WERK!!!:eek:

[brandon]

Is it over? Please - don't let it be over!! :D

- Brandon
------------

[caddmannq]

Hmmm...I haven't heard a peep from her all afternoon.
We've only got 20 mins. to go, soooo......

Come on, lady! Print that funky resume!

[NeoStarO1]

OMG!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!! Prints out her resume LOL, Can't wait to see what she does about this! LMAO!!!

You are too funny cadd!

[caddmannq]

Well she didn't come to work at all today. Something about "cramps."

I wonder if she ever did print it? I had to leave before her last night....

[HomeYield]

You should have added "expert at freecell" somewhere on her resume so that she could have easily seen it when she picked it up off of the printer. But then that might have a little too obvious.

[caddmannq]

I found something in the shredder basket that might have been her resume. I wonder....

I'm gonna go point it to some other document & see what happens Monday.

Oooohhhh...Monday is payday! I'll set it to print out her time report...

GHaHahAhaaHAHAaAa! :)

[HomeYield]

Originally posted by caddmannq
Oooohhhh...Monday is payday! I'll set it to print out her time report...

GHaHahAhaaHAHAaAa! :)

Ohhh, that sounds like a very evil laugh! cadd, your just evil. :) :lol:

[NeoStarO1]

LOL Cadd!!! Still amazes me to think this lady thinks she is slick either that doesn't want to fess up or something. But too funny.

NeoStar

[robin801]

now who has too much time on their hands neostar01? lol

[madfish]

Cadd: anymore news on the work front?

[Mntsnow]

All of my friends are watching this thread with anticipation of the next trick :)

Your keeping me in stitches Cadd!

[NeoStarO1]

Originally posted by robin801
now who has too much time on their hands neostar01? lol

Either she has too much time on her hands or can't be bothered. :rolleyes:

[knothead]

Originally posted by Mntsnow
All of my friends are watching this thread with anticipation of the next trick :)

Your keeping me in stitches Cadd!

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

NO KIDDIN'!! :lol: :lol:

I only regret that I'm not more 'computer literate', so I could relish every teensy bit of Caddmannq's devilish brilliance!! As it is, it only puts me on the floor HOWLING!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[caddmannq]

Sorry, folks. No news. She took off on vacation for a week.

Maybe monday..... ;)

[madfish]

cool... a whole week for you to boobytrap her machine :D

[caddmannq]

I've been too busy, because next week I'm going on vacation.

Things will get back to (ab)normal soon ;)

[NeoStarO1]

Shes on vacation this week, a week of rest so to speak, next week you are going on vacation and when come back Oh Boy!!!!! Wonder what "damage" she will do.

Ah just leave freecell to print out her resume for the entire week. Maybe she will figure it out then. LOL!!! ;)

[Roadkill]

This is gonna be a looong 2 weeks!

[caddmannq]

I had reset her Freecell shortcut to print out her time report (time card) in honor of payday last Monday, but when she didn't show up for work, I forgot all about it.

Now my projects have all been finished and/or put on hold for a bit, so this is the prime time for me to go on vacation too. Plus my wife starts vacation Monday. Plus, my boat is finished. Plus I got some vacation money saved up.

Some times things just all come together at once :)

[surrealchereal]

Happy Vacation Going Big guy! :D

[caddmannq]

Thank ya babeh...Thank ya verah much! :)

[caddmannq]

Oh, man...I've been totally side-tracked here. Trying to catch up the pile of work that built up while I was on vacation last week.
Anyhoo....

As my boss is leaving tonight (I'm usually the last one out the door) he tells me...

Him: "You know, Mary (<---our secretary...not her real name) has been printing out strange things all week. Did you give her some secret assignment before you left?"

Me: "Ummm...has she been running the shredder a lot?"

Him: "Oh, yeah. Almost every time she prints something, she shreds it!"

Me: "I'll talk to her tomorrow." :o
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I forgot to reset her Freecell shortcut, and it still prints out her timesheet every time. :eek: I'd also set solitaire, minesweeper and hearts to do the same thing. She's been thrashing about trying to get it to work for over a week, and probably went through a whole ink cartridge on this nonsense.

I hope she remembered to order some more.

In the meantime, I re-set all her shortcuts back to normal, and left her a note that I'd loaded some new drivers for her printer.

So this leaves me in the quandry: "What to do next?"

I wonder if I can get her PC to change the wall paper everytime she launches Freecell?

It's obvious that she hasn't given up yet....:bunny:

[brandon]

Hmm... Time to kick it up a notch?

Let me brainstorm... :D

- Brandon

[NeoStarO1]

I forgot to reset her Freecell shortcut, and it still prints out her timesheet every time. I'd also set solitaire, minesweeper and hearts to do the same thing. She's been thrashing about trying to get it to work for over a week, and probably went through a whole ink cartridge on this nonsense.


LMAO Cadd you rock!!!!!

I wonder if she even saw the pattern everytime ti click a game that it printed something. LOL

Well at least we can say the shreader is not going hungry. ;)

LOL, You rock!!!!

[madfish]

heheh can u make a thingy that will shut her machine down when that link is clicked? that should get her attention quick. and when she asked about it, just tell her you need to know excatly what she is doing to have the machine shut down, insist on her show you what she does and what she clicks to have this shut down happen,..
Oh btw,
dont for get to go here :D
http://www.turnofftheinternet.com/

:D :D

[Gibbo]

Is this all still working??

Must be a backup somewehere :)

Cadd, how about setting them to print the companys computer policy, on screen or paper :)

btw I do remember there being a batch file command to shutdown a computer, will try to remeber what it is, Any programmers out there know of a neater way to do it?

try the what's suggested in the link :D

SHUTDOWN :) (http://www.techimo.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=270076#post270076)

[Mntsnow]

Sorry Gibbo but I got tired of all the pages from my monitoring service saying the Internet server was down and I powered it back up ;)

[caddmannq]

I already did the "auto--reboot" trick, a couple weeks back.

She doesn't have internet access, and our company computer policies are pretty informal.

But, I'll come up with something..... ;)

[madfish]

Roflol, how about a pic of you? the one you showed camping back at sysopt?, ya know, the one with the errrrr baggie on the table. she get a shock for sure when everytime she went to open freecell or the other games and you poped up, and a wav/midi file playing taps.

[caddmannq]

Hmmm...I don't think that was my picture. I haven't been camping in 12 years. I don't think I posted any pictures on SysOpt, ever.

No speakers or soundcard on her PC either. HOWEVER.....

It does have a PC speaker, & I can probably rig it to do something annoying enough to make her jump. I'll have to check it out.

Also, I thought about sneaking this old modem into her machine & setting it to dial into her desk phone. Now that would be annoying.
:jaw:

[madfish]

ooo thats a great idear cad. have her dail up herself, hehehehe

Oppss sorry I confused you with someone eles concering the pic. sorry, and fyi, that baggie had treats for the pack donkey in it, or so we were told :D

[caddmannq]

I remember that picture now...It was CMonster in a top hat with a bag of llama treats or somethin'.

Me...I carry bacon in my pocket... HeeHee...

[NeoStarO1]

Any updates? :D :D

[caddmannq]

No...the opportunity hasn't presented itself.

Plus, we've been keeping her pretty busy on the PC.

But this won't last forever...;)

[NeoStarO1]

hehehe, cool, and a "break" to get her mind of the tricks. ;) only to run into trickery again. :D

[jadison]

Sheesh...I was wondering what ever happenned to this thread. I was hoping it was still going strong when I came back...looks like! :D

[caddmannq]

I wrote a memo to the whole office last week, concerning well-known computer games that may contain viruses and how they can cause your computer to start behaving randomly. I specifically prohibited the loading of home computer games on the company network, unless I approved them in advance. (Hey, we're not totally heartless. ;) )

Then I took off fishing for a few days.

Today I noticed our secretary is running FreeCell again at work.

Frequently.

As a matter of fact, every time I walk in the front office, she clicks on the taskbar really fast. I never see her move that fast when she's actually working. Soooo......

Whle she was out for lunch, I set her PC to run FreeCell every ten minutes, from 8:00 to 5:00 every day. It will start other apps (sort of randomly) about every 10 minutes. It also will start FreeCell each time she boots or re-boots the PC.

Let's see if she catches on.

I'm betting "No Way." :D

[NeoStarO1]

LOL Cadd you crack me up. can't wait to read the sequals to these. This thread is better than any tv show. :D

[caddmannq]

Well, it started before 9:00AM today.

She: "Something's wrong with my computer again."

Me: "I'm really tied up. I'll come look at it later."

She: "Well, it's really screwed up this time."

Me "How bad is it?"

She: "Really, REALLY bad!"

Me: "What's it doin' now?"

She: "I don't know. Things are just turning on and off all the time. I can't get anything to run right."

Me: "What programs are you tryin' to run?"

She: "Ummm...you know. Microsoft Office stuff."

Me: "It'll have to wait. I've gotta get this stuff off my desk first."

In the next two hours I hear her PC re-booting about 20 times. :D
Then she takes off early to go shopping.

I still haven't "looked" at it.

[edwelly]

Then she takes off early to go shopping.
that's my favorite part...;)

[NeoStarO1]

LMAO OFF Cadd, Thing she figure it out by now that everytime freecell is ran that something goes "haywire". LOL, can't wait to hear more. :D

She is always taking off if the computer takes an "ill" LOL This is just toooooooooooooooooooo funny! :D

[brandon]

lol... This definately gets better and better with every new post, cadd.. ;)

- Brandon

[Mntsnow]

Ahhh I'm just tickled pink that we have Cadd keeping us in humor :)

[caddmannq]

Originally posted by edwelly
Then she takes off early to go shopping.
that's my favorite part...;)

Actually, I let her go shopping. We were out of coffee & paper towels, and you simply cannot run an engineering office without coffee & paper towels.

Anyway, while she was gone, I reset her PC to boot different random programs at different random times (about one every 17 to 23 minutes), and only when the PC was idle. Also, as soon as you click anywhere except in the program that just started, it exits immediately.

This is all done through the task scheduler, of course; and she evidently doesn't have the slightest idea what that is.

When she returned, she went the rest of the afternoon without buzzing me once; but as she left at 5:00 she said that "...her computer was posessed..." and that she still thought she had a virus. I said I'd scan it again.

After she left, I reset it again to just launch 6 different programs at 12:15, while she'd be out to lunch, and leave them running.

We'll see what happens monday ;)

[NeoStarO1]

LOL< possessed computer now eh? hehehehehehe :) LOL, this is awesome, be something great for funniest home videos :D :)

Either that she is waiting for the punch line, mam if you look over there at that yellow light, and smile because your on candid camera :D

[brandon]

On one hand, I almost feel sorry for this woman (well, on some wavelength) - yet on another, get a huge kick out of this. ;)

- Brandon

[Mntsnow]

It is possessed! Possessed by the best virus of them all...Caddmannq :D

[NeoStarO1]

ATTENTION NEWS FLASH!!!

New funny virus on the loose, watch out cause you DON'T have to be connected to the internet, virus name is known as the Caddmannq.Vir This virus produces unknown erratic behavior, best method to ridding the virus is to admit you play freecell, then the virus will magically disappear. :D :D :D :D

[Mntsnow]

:rofl: :rofl:

[Gibbo]

Hey cadd, I knoe you've already linked freecell to other programs, but what about prank programs.. eg. PRANKS (http://www.computerpranks.com/)

Just a thought.

Keep up the good work mate, you really do make me laugh :D :D :D :D

[caddmannq]

Originally posted by brandon184
...I almost feel sorry for this woman...That feeling would evaporate quickly, should you ever meet her.
:rolleyes:

[caddmannq]

Hmmm...evidently, she has another virus, or her old pentium just just won't run too many proggies at once. Her PC locked up durring lunch two days in a row. :confused:

I guess I'll just have to get more creative. :D

'Cause I'm definately not going to build her a Thunderbird just so she can type letters and play FreeCell. ;)

[Mntsnow]

Ohh come on Cadd...A T-bird would make her much more productive (would give her more time to play) :rolleyes:

[Gibbo]

Has she died or gone mad ?

or maby quit :D (hmm??)

Any updates cadd ?

[caddmannq]

Sorry, I've been too tied up to think about it.

I think I'll do the "Crazy Mouse Pointer" prank next.

Can anybody figure out how to make it crazy only for FreeCell?

[Gibbo]

you could make the prank execute when freecell starts with the shortcut in the menu bar, but I don't think you can turn it off again when freecell shuts down ?

Interesting thought :D

[caddmannq]

HeeHeeHee...

That would work for me ;)

[NeoStarO1]

Either that make freecell to always have top window priority, meaning free cell stays on top no matter what window is activated. hehehe

Keep us posted cadd!!!

[NeoStarO1]

Just had to bump this. :D

Any new developments?

[caddmannq]

I installed a "phoney error messages" prank. :eek:

Upon starting FreeCell, she'll get "FreeCell has caused a General Protection Error" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause a "FreeCell Runtime Error" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause a "Windows Out-of-Memory Error" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause a "Unknown User Error Error" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause a "Error generating Error Message Error" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause it to loop back to the first error. :D

We'll see if she bites on this one ;)

[NeoStarO1]

OMG!!!! This is tooo funny!!! OMG!!! Ouch my sides hurt now. :D :D :D can't wait for the updates on this sequal. this is the best thread in history IMO!.

[perris]

THIS IS HYSTERICLE

thanx for making my day!

Have you tried pointing free cell to the work at hand?

[Mntsnow]

It's getting better still :)

[caddmannq]

My boss buzzed me right before I left for lunch.

He: "Mary has been re-booting her computer all morning. Maybe she needs a new computer."

Me: "No way. I just checked it out last week. Did she say what was going wrong?"

He: "No. But I kept hearing her swearing at it, and then she'd re-boot. It happened about five times."

Me: "I'll check it while you guys are out to lunch. In the mean time, don't use any floppy disks from her. She might have another virus."

He: "Oh $#!+ Not again! Where does she get all these viruses?"

Me: "I don't know, but don't let her use the payroll machine, OK?"

:D ;) :D

[caddmannq]

PS: I disabled the error messages...for a while... ;)

[edwelly]

He: "No. But I kept hearing her swearing at it,
:D:D:D

[perris]

I like the idea of pointing the free cell to her work at hand.

then when she complains, you can ask her boss to have her recreate her problem...hehe

[caddmannq]

She'd only play dumb. He'd believe her too. He's already convinced. :rolleyes:

PS: read back a bit. I pretty much did that before. ;)

[NeoStarO1]

Well for those of you coming in the threads late, the whole point is getting her to admit she plays the game, AFAIK they don't have a problem with her playing it just a problem with her denial. If she just admit to it the tricks would probably end.


But not too soon or no more laughter from this thread! :D :D :D :D

[MDS]

cadd this has to be the funniest threat around :)

[NeoStarO1]

threat??? :lol: :lol: yup its a threat alright. ;) ;)
Best thread I have seen :)

[caddmannq]

I reinstated the "errors" HeeHeeHee ;)

Now upon starting FreeCell, she'll get "FreeCell has caused an Error in Module Syswork.DLL" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause a "User Workflow Sequence Error" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause a "Windows Task Scheduler Completion Error" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause a "User Data Slow Entry Error" Do you want to continue? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause a "Invalid Error Error: You should close all programs and restart your computer now. Do you want to re-boot now? [yes] [no]

Picking either option will cause the machine to re-boot. :bunny:

She'll be back in ten minutes...I can hardly contain myself. ;)

:o Oooohhhh...I'm sooooo bad! :o

[NeoStarO1]

LMAO!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

this is just hallarious.

Cadd, Im curious how do you fix the program to execute "errors" like this? Do you have some sort of script tied to it?

[clubmed]

LOL Cadd, you are one mean guy! And I love it hehe :)

[Cruez]

I read this thread a while back, and just picked it back up again...

This is freakin' hillarious.. I would bleed this one dry, I would keep on until I got bored (wonder if thats possible :D)

Anyway....best thread Ive read in a while....keep up the tricks Cadd :D

[Target]

Caddmannq.... Here's another idea for you.

Create another fake error message for her when she goes to launch FreeCell. Have it state something to the effect:

"You have exceeded the maximum number of application launches for this program. Unlimited/Extended play updates are available from Microsoft for $249.00 USD, plus applicable City, State, and Federal taxes. To purchase updates call 1-800-FCADDICT. Bank transfers and major credit cards accepted". "Press CONTINUE to enter your Extended play registration key, or CLOSE to quit the application".



:lol:

[brandon]

Cool idea!

Except I'd have either option (Yes or No) close the window, and I'd make the phone number 1-800-666-7352. (lol... Dial the number, and you'll see what I mean...)

I have a feeling this is going to get better and better, with cadd's co-operation, of course. ;) :D :D :D

- Brandon

[caddmannq]

Originally posted by NeoStarO1
Cadd, Im curious how do you fix the program to execute "errors" like this?

Ok...here's my horrible confession:

I just make bitmaps of the "errors" & give 'em standard names.

The FreeCell shortcut points to this program.

I had another young guy in the office code this. I think he used Visual Lisp or something. I'm not sure how it works, (I'm really a CAM Guy, & don't know visual from visceral) but no matter where you click on the window, it just calls the next name in the series. If it calls an invalid name, the PC re-boots.

[NeoStarO1]

:D :D hehehe thanks. Well it works for sure. :D

[caddmannq]

BTW. Our secretary left early today. She said her dog had run away.

But my boss said that she was still re-booting a lot. Wonder why?

:confused:

[NeoStarO1]

LOL she makes up more excuses than anyone I know. its increadable. geezzz.

tooo much free cell :D

We all know if she left that alone it would run like a charm. ;)
guess her fingers just can't keep away from the cards.

Hmmm maybe rig up the printer to spit out a deck of cards everytime she runs free cell :D :D :D :D

[HomeYield]

This is one of the best threads ever. I'd VNC her computer. Now there's some fun in that. You could keep her mouse from ever clicking off of it whenever someone walked by, or better yet, make a picture of freecell her background and the turn off the ability to change her background. That way she's stuck with it whether she's playing or not.

[caddmannq]

Well, evidently her dog did run away. I found "Lost Poodle" posters she printed out on the company printer.

Ah, well...I feel a bit sorry for her, because her husband won't let her have a computer. He's one of these western-artsey-green-peace-nature-boy-luddite types.

I wonder if she gets to cook with gas, or he makes her chop wood in the back yard? ;)

[mickwish]

Wow, this lady is STILL being baited by the master baiter! :eek:

I would have bet all money that she would have discovered our heros antics by now. :rolleyes:

How long has it been - three/four months? That's a persistent freecell player all right! Give her some credit here where it's due! :D

What's next Cadd you cad... this is almost as entertaining as Harvey's latest adventure! :D which is mainly written by none other than... caddmannq!! :D
http://www.techimo.com/forum/t16637.html

[caddmannq]

Awww....Geee :o

Thanks for the plug, Mick! :D

[Centurion]

still readin along! C -- lmao too

[caddmannq]

Well, it had to end sometime.

It was my boss that finally figured out what was up. I'm surprised that it took him so long, as I've played several computer pranks on him in the past. He knows my sense of humor.

Evidently, Mary went into his office and was literally crying big tears, (remember, this is a 49 year old woman) complaining that her computer was messed up, and that I simply could not fix it.

That was what eventually tipped him off. I can always "fix it." I've been "fixing it" for as long as I've worked here. That's why they keep me around here! I'll tell ya: it ain't for my looks.

Any how, he sent her home (looking for the lost poodle, still) and called me in.

He wanted to know what exactly did I do to Mary's computer?

I opened this thread on his browser and told him to read it.

That was about thirty minutes, and I can hear him cracking up in there right now.

Heck. He may come out feeling so good that he gives me a raise. :D

....Well...I can always hope...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hey Bob? Buzz me when you get to this one, huh?
I got it fixed. :o

[perris]

well the synapsis of this is gonna be the best part...waiting, and there's a minow on my tongue...(waiting with baited breath,,,get it hahaha)

[brandon]

Awww... ;)

I wonder if he'll talk to her about her FreeCell antics..? :)