fosin
12-06-2002, 2:22 PM
Real Man Test
***********
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the
Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As
a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you
with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that
is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite
supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty,
and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all
over the entire Earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
.................................................. ............
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life
do you miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
.................................................. ............
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is
the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that,
for business reasons, you have to have him killed.
.................................................. ............
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
.................................................. ............
5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's
attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being
with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you
are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's
reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue
sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but,
she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where
your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether
you want to get married; only whether you believe that you
have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future,
but you don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you
cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to
make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her
by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on
third and seventeen.
.................................................. ............
6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and
you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing
the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what
may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her
name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing
through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
.................................................. ............
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks
you to get your three children ready for school. Your first
question to her is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
.................................................. ............
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed
new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were
originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear
molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real
guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we
are not naming names, (but this would be his wife) is
quietly trying to discard his underwear.
.................................................. ............
9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation
for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the
place for forty years before they finally got to the
Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land
when they finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
.................................................. ............
10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.
***********
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the
Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As
a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you
with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that
is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite
supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty,
and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all
over the entire Earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
.................................................. ............
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life
do you miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
.................................................. ............
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is
the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that,
for business reasons, you have to have him killed.
.................................................. ............
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
.................................................. ............
5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's
attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being
with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you
are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's
reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue
sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but,
she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where
your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether
you want to get married; only whether you believe that you
have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future,
but you don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you
cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to
make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her
by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on
third and seventeen.
.................................................. ............
6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and
you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing
the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what
may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her
name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing
through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
.................................................. ............
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks
you to get your three children ready for school. Your first
question to her is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
.................................................. ............
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed
new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were
originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear
molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real
guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we
are not naming names, (but this would be his wife) is
quietly trying to discard his underwear.
.................................................. ............
9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation
for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the
place for forty years before they finally got to the
Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land
when they finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
.................................................. ............
10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.