Holiday Inn

[davidw]

No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday Inn! With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
Otherwise, the cash keeps building up. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
T.V. broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room! service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my email to:me@Holiday.Inn

[tmx468]

Its a joke and a funny, but I have a relative that pretty much does that. And he loves it! :)

[Xeroid]

Now that's the best plan I've heard in a while. :D

[Shyguy]

one of the local motels out here rents their rooms for $50 a month to people, including basic cable, heat & water, Ive heard of several college students that rent out some rooms during the semesters, I know I'm kinda going off track here but... also a lady that comes into our store every once ina while, a real nut job, lives in one of the rental rooms, has boxes of belongings packed in the room, just a narrow access through door to bed & stuff, apparently a year ago she was told to vacate her place she was renting & decided to try & torch the place as she left, thinking that the insurance would go to her & not the landlord, the authoritiies tried to explain it to her but she insisted that she get the insurance money, well they locked her up for a bit, & she used to be banned from our store for a couple of years for shoplifting, grabbing empty boxes from our produce dept, where I work, claiming they were for shipping clothes to children in africa, all the while stuffing products into the boxes & sneaking them out of the store.