Dating Advice

[ThRoNkA]

Ok guys..who knew I would be asking for advice on dating on the internet :P

Any who... I went out last nite with a friend of mine (who is a girl) but I consider her a girlfriend and she just considers me a friend. We have been friends for a LONG time.. about 2 years.

I told her yesterday, when I was on the phone with her, that "Ever since I met you, I blossomed and opened up. I never do that around anyone else" She replied that "Awww how sweet of you to say that".

I started getting feelings for her a couple of months ago. I told her and she just stayed silent and didnt say anything but she just smiled and replied "Thats fine. It is not going to change anything about our friendship. I am not mad" I think she mean because I said it here she wasnt going to get mad and change her feelings for me. I dunno.. girls can be stange with wording..

ok on to the whole shabang... So we went to the movies and saw "Chasing Libery" (YES I LIKE CHICK FLICKS!) and we watched the movie and ate twislers candy. We fought for the arm rest because I think she is left handed and I am right handed. So we finally just give up on fighting for the arm rest and just put our arms up and just lean on each other. I am leaning anyway because we got this (bless my soul) 14 years old making out next to me and its gross. And we stood that way the whole time.

When we left the movie theatre, we just laughed on how we fought for the arm rest. Don't ask me why. Then we drove, oh my god, 12 miles to the nearest Taco Bell and ate then.. Brian Holt called and talked for about 20 minutes. Then I dropped her off and she said bye.

Let me ask you this then (stupid hormones): How do I know her feelings are changing for me? How do I know she is actually doing this because she wants to and know because she feels sorry for me (I dunno if she does or not)?

Ok dating experts.. your turn now!

[tmx468]

Firstly... nothing to feel bad about - half my DVD collection are 'chick flicks'... :D (Just added Crossroads to the collection ;) )

Secondly... name an average joe who has a best mate that is female - doesn't happen.
Women on the other hand, can have best mates of either sex... and if you are that close, then that means nothing in relation to dating.

Being close to someone, sharing experiences and emotions, and confiding are totally separate to dating, unless the girl wants the situation to change.. and a change would be noticable (happened to me)..

Unless there has been a change, separate from anything after you told her how you feel, then maybe let things run their course, but don't pressure her - going to the cinema together is a date, but as friends...

If anything is to happen, then things will become obvious if you know the girl, so just enjoy the friendship, and if anything happens, all the best :)

[ThRoNkA]

Firstly... nothing to feel bad about - half my DVD collection are 'chick flicks'... (Just added Crossroads to the collection )


Thank god I am not alone!

unless the girl wants the situation to change.. and a change would be noticable (happened to me)..

Would you think that more talking on the phone and picking her up from school because her car is toast be considered that?

[tmx468]

depends... picking up from school not so much... explain the changes on the phone..

[ThRoNkA]

We talk more often and tell her things that I dont tell anyone else and she does the same thing.

[knothead]

Boy, I hate to be a wet blanket there, buddy, but...I started getting feelings for her a couple of months ago. I told her and she just stayed silent and didnt say anything but she just smiled and replied "Thats fine. It is not going to change anything about our friendship. I am not mad"
I think she was very clear with you. Sorry. She sees you as a friend, and that is all.

[ThRoNkA]

I think she was very clear with you. Sorry. She sees you as a friend, and that is all.

I think I should rephrase that...

She said "Andrew, are you falling for me?" I replied "Yes. I started getting these feelings about 2 months ago." Shes replied "Are you sure its not a crush?" I said "I am not sure, but thats how I feel. I open up to you like I do no one else." She stood silent and didnt say anything for about 5 minutes.. then she said "Listen, I am not mad at what you said. But she smiled and said It won't change how I feel about you because I am not mad at you."

If you heard the TOV, you would know it doesn't mean that.

Edit: Let me say what she did for me for christmas..
I have never been kissed and I told her that and she was shocked. So she got anxious thinking about something and asked me what I wanted for Xmas.. I told her just some little things. I have everything I need... Life, Friends, Family.. I just need a magazine subscription. She laughed (BTW this was one week before school let out for Xmas break and we were at McDonalds just muching on some food. She said OH HELL I will do it. I look up and she got all red and crap. I asked, "Is it the way I am eating." She said "no, its something else". So we finish eating and she says "Come here" and she takes me over to my car and looks at me and says "I dont want anyone to see this" I said "ummm ok?" She says "Close your eyes" Grabs me and hugs me and gives me a big kiss on my lips. I turned BEET RED! She said "Merry Christmas Andrew" and Smiled at me. So there you have it.. my first kiss.... ok how does this pertain to my date advice? :P

[davidw]

ygpm

[GohanSSJ]

Ok seeing the whole kiss thing i don't believe she is that shy, she knows your feelings, and if she would like more then you will notice it soon enough, there isn't more that you can do really.

[ThRoNkA]

kinda what I figured but I guess I shouldnt be pushy like ChristianComp said. It will all come soon enough. I am just excited though. This is my first girl friend and stuff

[GohanSSJ]

Although i understand this is all exciting, you already talk like you are already there, while there is a good chance you will never get there, now it's not wrong to have hopes, but you know you don't know well enough how much she likes you.

She might see you as a really good friend who she can trust and all, that doesn't always have to mean she wants more.

I find it very hard to judge what she wants from what you have been saying, but untill something happens then don't think you are already there, because that could get you 2 in a diffecult situation which could ruin your friendship.

[Mntsnow]

My advice being married now for almost 15 years is to just take it slow...your young, she's young...You both have alot of time ahead of you so dont push/rush things. If the next step in this friendship is to happen it will. I will say your on the path of having a great relationship with this gal even if it never moves past the point of just being close friends and not a "lovers" type relationship.

[ThRoNkA]

MntSnow, I think you are right. Friendships are the best. I just thought of her differently and realized that and I was like. OMG.. what do I do?

The thing is I have NEVER had a relationship like this at all. So its overwhelming.

but I do have this philosophy: NO SEX TILL MARRIAGE. PERIOD.
I will NEVER deviate from it.

[GohanSSJ]

Friendships are not the best, it would always be nicer if it could be more then that, but that isn't always possible...

As for no sex untill marriage, will each their own decision, personally i don't have that, however i would never want something with a girl that i wouldn't love.

[davidw]

You'll find out later in life that you can use all the friends you can get, because you will never know when you'll need one.

[MDS]

Originally posted by Christian-Comp
You'll find out later in life that you can use all the friends you can get, because you will never know when you'll need one.

agree completely

[ThRoNkA]

... well 2 friends are ok with me I only have 2... excluding the cyber ones. I guess I am the only teenager in america who hasnt had a girlfirend before the age of 18 (well a friend like I have).
But you know acceptance feels good knowing someone likes you for who you are and what you do

[davidw]

I didn't have a girlfriend untl I was 23 (I think).

[ThRoNkA]

How do you think?

[daveleau]

Take it slowly, as the other have advised. The worst feeling is when you push things and it ruins the friendship. She knows how you feel, so let her decide and come to you. While the kiss is a good start, I would not keep my hopes up and would concentrate on the friendship. If you start acting weird or different because of how you feel, the relationship will change for the worse. In time, her feelings might change and she very well might begin to have romantic feelings. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to foster those feelings other than being the friend she's had for the past 2 years and nothing more unless she gives you a better idea that she wants the change to romance. She sounds like the type of girl that would not hold that feeling back once it is kindled inside of her.

I applaud your philosophy. It makes things much more special.

[GohanSSJ]

I'm 18 and i haven't had a GF either, then again i don't live in America lol. :D

[ThRoNkA]

It makes things much more special.
I am beginning to realize that. I am just gonna be a friend because thats who I am. Hoefully it will go further but if it doesn't, I will know I am a good friend and helping someone that is a good friend back to me.

I am 18... not in america
Gohan... we have already established that. :) Then again, I can't understand half of your english. LOL

[gjimene2]

For one thing, if you are on a date and someone calls you on your cell phone and you know you will be talking to that person for a while, just don't answer and if you do tell them that you are on a date.


I have noticed that you also say that she's your friend over the phone. One thing that will upset a girl is considering her your friend when she's your girlfriend.


Her giving you a kiss for x-mas does give you a hint that she is interested in her. You just need to woo her a bit.

Also, pay attention to her, don't blow her off, and keep your promises and plans with her.


From what you told me over the phone one time we spoke, she sounds like she digs you. Women really won't kiss anyone unless they meant something. The only excuse is if she's, well, a you know what from the start

[ThRoNkA]

she is interested in her
WOAH!?!? I am sure thats a typo. LOL

Its OK. Brian Holt always ruins plans LOL J/k Brian

a you know what from the start
I don't understand...

[gjimene2]

lmao, yep a Typo, she is interested in you.


btw, my g/f's little bro is turning 21, no g/f for him.

[ThRoNkA]

Well I made a few mistakes and well.. they are my first ones. I wont make them again. The cool thing is... well harder to express feelings in words and typing. But I think you get the general idea.

[gjimene2]

excuse my langauge mnt snow.


Andy, a b****. I don't care what anyone says, the truth is that there are some women out there who just love to toy with men's feelings. Just like there are some men who do the same to women.



From what I hear on how her personality is, she's pretty cool. Take it a bit slow, but also remember that v-day is coming up. Do something sweet for her.

[gjimene2]

:cb: I just got a call, Amy's making me tamales for dinner tonight :cb:

[ThRoNkA]

.. hey can I come over!

[gjimene2]

You need to go to your g/f's. Chill out with her, or she might feel lonely and get on someone else's arms ;).


I'm off to Kroger's in Duncanville, going to pick up some stuff and a six pack of beer :cb:


Later's Andy.

[ThRoNkA]

I AM REALLY COMING!!! I want some food!

[gino x]

If you're that desperate...lol

[gjimene2]

I brought home a dozen, lol.


They are my favorite, sharp cheddar and jalapeño.

At her house, I kicked back 2 beers, 4 sharp cheddar and jalapeño tamales, as well as 5 beef.

Also had some rice and beans.


da*m I'm spoiled.

[LordKwiKSilva00]

lol andy, sorry i called in the middle of ya fun :p if i woulda known....anyway, stick with it is all i can say, it will turn out ok in the end

*edit*
My advice being married now for almost 15 years is to just take it slow...your young, she's young...You both have alot of time ahead of you so dont push/rush things. If the next step in this friendship is to happen it will. I will say your on the path of having a great relationship with this gal even if it never moves past the point of just being close friends and not a "lovers" type relationship.

snowman says it best, take it easy, and dont listen to any of my advice :D :D :D i am in the same boat as you dude :p

[BBA]

Originally posted by ThRoNkA

but I do have this philosophy: NO SEX TILL MARRIAGE. PERIOD.
I will NEVER deviate from it.



Ummm...you dont watch Saturday Night Live do you?

Whats the old ladies name...frito-lay or somthing? Anyways...she takes questions and give pretty bold answers...and in a joking way shes always right.

In my opinion, unprotected sex before marriage is bad.

Now...no sex before marriage is worse, in my book.

I would rather advise you not to consider marriage until your 30, which would be about the time you would be financially capable and responsible enough, since these two facters are the reason 50% of marriages end in divorce in todays society.

[Socal]

In my opinion, no unprotected sex before marriage is bad

I *think* BBA means: "Unprotected sex before marriage is bad."

I sure hope that's what he means. And I definitely agree on the later-age marriage, too.

[earthling]

There are never any clear cut answers when it comes to affairs of the heart Andy. If you really like this girl, give her the friendship she needs and the respect she deserves and the rest will work itself out on its own. Good luck, I hope you both get what you want .

[ThRoNkA]

Thx for all the advice fellas. I got down in my heart and took all this to memory and will use them. I just gotta get them all DEFRAGGED LOL

[gjimene2]

Since you were able to get online, here ya go.

Sprint Store
921 N. Central Expressway, Ste. 102
Plano, TX 75075
(972) 509-0212

[LordKwiKSilva00]

lol andy :)

btw, i tried to call ya last night, left a msg with ya dad to have you call me...nm bout it, i installed linux on my own :p DrakX auto allocated the partitions for me(after i low leveled then high level the hdd and ran fdisk :D :D :D)

did it through dos, think i have a good understanding of linux install now...took me an install then an install over an install to get it workin :p

first try it installed but when i went to log in i could type in username but not password...went for both the root and the user accounts

[BBA]

Originally posted by Socal
I *think* BBA means: "Unprotected sex before marriage is bad."

I sure hope that's what he means. And I definitely agree on the later-age marriage, too.

Exactly!

LOL...Man, I totally missed that.

[Edsel]

okay here is the real advice hehe. And hope you dont take this mean coz its not, if it sounds that way my apologies. Truth is if u want real dating advice, dont go asking for it at a "geek" forum lol. Chances are it will prove to have disastrous consequences :P

[gjimene2]

:rofl:

[roadtech]

Hey guys I know i'm new here and we don't each other. But my wife and I loved the post. One of things i didn't see is if the girl has ever had a real boy friend before that make's a big differences she might not know how to show her real feeling because it's all new to her too. Just remember take it slow your young and time is on your side.Look i've known my wife for over 30 years. As of july the 29th of this year we will have been married 20 years. I was good freinds with her brother Larry we went to school together 5th thur 10th grades but anyway we kinda lost touch we each other. Then one day when I was 18 I stopped up Larry's house to see what he been up to and my now wike answered the door she had grown into a beautiful young women and as they say the rest is history....Look I'm not a geek but I have many friends who say they are :)... Anyway back to the subject I would say treat her like a queen make her the most important thing in your life this way she'll know your true feelings about her always think how you would feel if she did something to or for you and how you would feel about it before you do it. That's how relationship last. But just remember if this doesn't turn into love it will be a very good learning experience. Having females as a good friend is great because you can always get there insight about things that us dum guys don't know or think of. About sex thats kinda hard it can be very important to a marriage We know a couple who split up about it because they said there sex life was lousy and knowing them well as my wife and I do there's no reason for us not to believe then we tried are best to help out but sometimes it just comes down to chemistry,taste,touch and feel or maybe jusy being lazy.. They say 50% of a marriage is sex if you don't enjoy the person your doing it with then it not fun so you'll want to find someone else. (Just something to think about) anyway the wife said maybe it would be good to sit down and wirte a letter to her on how you feel and see how she reacts tell her to put it in a return letter to you because alot people can't tell you they feeling at loud. Well I hope this helps you and I wish you the best. See Ya Kev....